Cinderella Gone Weird, Write Rewrite, Rewrite Challenge (first day, humor!)

I started a 36-hour Challenge. http://genrepornchallenge.wordpress.com/ Check it out and participate!

Since its new, I’ll be taking part until it gets its feet off the ground. So, here’s:

Cinderella Gone Weird

The troll’s in my backyard, again. He’s taken two steps out of the corner. I can see his knees. The gnarled hunks of wood with pecan slivers for nails that should be his hands sit lightly on them.
He hasn’t made it out of the far right corner yet, and who am I to pry, anyways? We just moved here. That’s a question I don’t need to know the answer to, right now. I have bigger things to worry about, like busted hot water heaters and baking the perfect cake and making the most awesome dress for the ball.
He’ll come in and kill me when he wants to.
I love the people here. They’re so friendly (except for my family, LOL) I can’t believe I ever got used to people being rude. I guess when you live in a kingdom that tops the lists for most miserable and crime ridden regularly, rude is par for the course.
Damn it, I took my eyes off him, and now I can see his beard. I’m not sure that’s a healthy color for a beard. It’s so dark above his knees it almost looks wet.
Oh, shit. It is wet. Fucker’s drooling, and its slipping over his bulbous lower lip and dread-locking the hair on his chinny-chin-chin.
I should probably stop typing, right? But I’m not done with my cigarette. I NEED my nicotine, come Hell or just…fucking trolls. These hallways ain’t gonna’ mop themselves.
The cancer stick is almost halfway gone, and he moves slow as molasses down the crack of Frosty’s ass, anyways. I got time.
Don’t I?
Where was I?
Oh yeah, busted water heater. That sucker was spewing like a damn frat boy in every direction. The water was going under the house, too. I was out of cigs and coca cola, so all I could do was pop my knuckles, gulp at random, and pray my stepmother wasn’t coming home any time soon.
The repairman probably thought I was nutso. That’s okay. I probably am.
Oh, fuck, what now? SHIT, WHERE ARE HIS EYES WHERE ARE HISEYES WHEREAREHISEYES Fuck fuckitty
Okay, all better. If he can’t see me, I can just turn the typing sounds on my keyboard off.
Done, and
done.
Hah, now he’s moving in a zig zag. This is so going on yetube.
Shit, he heard me laugh at him.
Double shit, he’s mad.
I think I’m done with this cigarette. Time to stick my tongue out andflfjcjnsikcnjfj rndinchndnenjfj . Encjjndnen
Tyytttthhheee tttttrroolllllssseeezz nnooo yuuer rooooollllll, ppppprrrincceesss

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